Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
