You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
