Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
