Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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