I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
