Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
