I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i think i just lost a toe
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