the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
