do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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