idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
