Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
smell my finger.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
