Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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