3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
