he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
