Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
