U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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