So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
