do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
