Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
