i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just googled if crying burns calories
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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