this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
