I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
