Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
