i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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