How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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