you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
