so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
