I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
