Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
