we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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