I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
