Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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