idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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