You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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