You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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