My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
