I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
