Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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