Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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