Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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