They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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