Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
