Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
