your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
