I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
