did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
