Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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