Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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