She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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