you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
