the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
