why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
